Wednesday, July 25, 2007

S.O.S.

If I make it back to this blog it will be a miracle! I happened upon this space through a blog, through another blog and so on and so on and once I click that ominous white and red X in the upper right hand corner (yes, I still use a PC), we will truly know what my famed (at least in my mind) sense of direction is worth!

In other news, I'm back from a brief trip to South Carolina last week and I have to say I felt like I had truly entered into an episode of the Twilight Zone... or, at the very least, a sitcom that could most easily be described as equal parts Roseanne and 7th Heaven. First of all, I should mention this was for work and while I was completely shocked about the environment and what is socially acceptable "down there", the people I met were just completely adorable and very talented, but hopelessly sheltered and slightly left of center. ***Side bar: I use that phrase to mean that center is what I consider "normal", which in most cases includes close to anything short of peeing on the sidewalk or pushing dogs in baby strollers. You see, their best restaurant was a steakhouse conveniently located in between a roller coaster and a ferris wheel underneath a large sombrero (is that how you spell that?). Yes, I speak the truth. The unbelievable southern truth. I don't think there is much left to say, I choose to leave you with that sobering fact. Anyway, after three days of gospel songs, morning prayers, thanking God and Chick-fil-a, I have never been happier to return home to the NY tri-state area! To the aggressive drivers, 5-star restaurants, highway congestion, hopeless pollution, $4 bottles of water and Jews! Oy Vey!

Home again, home again, jiggity jig.

But enough of that... let's get to some nonsense.

You know those heavy duty plastic spoons with the deep "cup" and industrial strength handle? A good example of said spoon would be the ecru colored softie spoons at Wendy's, well... they cut my lips. Seriously, if you use one of those bitches for anything other than hovering over your mouth and dumping ice cream onto your tongue you will suffer. Now, I do believe this to be universal, but I have always been told that I have small features, including a small mouth (although I do have a nearly disproportionate bottom lip) so this may very well be the cause of my injuries, but nothing is worse than a plastic spoon that can cause bodily harm.

UPDATE: I'm back and safe. ;-) This place is pretty fun!